Leader of your own gang

My son is an avid book reader and has no desire to get rid of any he has read.

Yesterday I was moving his “book mountain” to enable us to decorate his room whilst he’s away working.

I came across “The Book of Thunks” by Ian Gilbert. There is an interesting mindset. Thought-provoking and amusing – you’re not sure which bits are serious or just fun.

One bit resonated for me.

“Would you be a different person if you’d chosen a different career?”

Unfortunately, it seems usual for people to define themselves by their job title:

·         “I’m a teacher”

·         “I’m a finance director”

·         “I’m a farmer”

·         “I’m a baker”

etc

But you are not. That’s what you do, not who you are.

You might also be a father, son, husband, coach to the local under 12s football team, happy air-guitar player, kitchen dancer and whatever (or maybe the opposite or different if you are female).

You may enjoy your career. You may dislike it, but you may do it because you’ve done it for years, have a responsible position and you’re married with children, mortgage and holiday needs.

Being in a particular career may see you act in ways expected by your employer. But that’s not who you are.

Then comes the big change. Time to give up full-time work - aka retirement, but I call it Future Life, as there is another set of societal biases and negative assumptions around the word “retirement”.

However, now there is a danger …. nay, an excitement …. that if you go about it the right way, you might just find yourself! It would be terrific to do this earlier, but many people don’t.

Regrettably, far too many people don’t find themselves in their Future Life either, because they ignore, forget, don’t know quite a few things:

·         If you’re not properly prepared, it’s going to come as a big shock and you’re going to suffer various losses e.g. of identity, status, relationships, purpose, that you haven’t learned to counteract

·         It’s supposed to be about enjoying yourself, so it’s not great if you just follow what other people have done

·         It needs to suit you, as an individual, and fit in with those around you. So you need to understand yourself well and be very clear what you want to do, where, when and with whom

·         24 x 365 is a lot of hours to fill without the structure of working days. You need to understand your values, have a real purpose and act accordingly

·         No one says you have to work it out all on your own

·         Probably for the first time in your life “the grass (can be) greener” – because with the right mindset and approach you can have a brilliant time, free of the constraints of your full-time career

·         Don’t get fixated on money. First sort out what you want to do. Only go nap on the important money angle after that

·         But do get fixated on your personal energies and fun GGbecause , jointly, they are the key to longevity, mobility and real enjoyment.

Take off the disguise – just be the person you want to be. The leader of your own gang.

 Photo: Austin Loveing on Unsplash.