Living a life less ordinary

I spent parts of Monday watching the Queen’s funeral on TV. I was not alone in that. Here are some staggering numbers – and if you don’t like numbers, stick with them and we’ll move on soon. This article is saying something a bit different.

The numbers

250,000 people joined the line and stood for hours at the Queen’s Lying-in-State in Westminster Hall.

The funeral was watched on TV by a peak of 37.5 million people in the UK.

It was broadcast to over 200 countries and the expected audience was 4.1 billion people (more than half the World’s population) – almost unbelievable!

But what I thought was special were the parents who were interviewed because they had taken their children to London to see the funeral live. The reason – a really special moment that their children will be able to tell their own grandchildren about in years to come – a “defining moment”.

Life as we know it – but not what we expect

Life for the most part is fairly ordinary much of the time – and just occasionally we get those special moments that are more significant.

American Psychologist brothers Chip and Dan Heath coined the term defining moment:

·         Memorable, meaningful, short-term moments, often highly charged and high in emotion

·         Important for us as they create past memories; they can even shape your future life, giving it greater purpose and meaning

·         Many appear to just happen as the product of luck or chance –

like the business trip I made to Tysons Corner near Washington DC many years ago – a sudden shower of insects, Cicadas, falling from the sky – unexpected, concerning, awe inspiring when you understand that they are only out for a short period of time – days. They fly, mate and then give birth burrowed into trees – and finally they bury their young in the ground. The parents die; the young grow and this brood would reappear in 17 years’ time to repeat that cycle. Astonishing!

          That’s all I remember about that business trip – but it’s a deep memory

·         But defining moments can be created – we don’t need to sit around waiting for them (we’ll get back to this is a moment)

More of them

I’ve had other defining moments – like each of my children being born; like holding a baby tiger in a Zoo in the Balearics; and being held up at gunpoint in a hotel lift in Bogota.

You’ve had them too and yours were yours and you’ll remember them; and they will be strangely precious to you.

·         Where were you when JFK was shot dead?

·         In July 1969, my father stayed up all night to watch Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin going for a little stroll on the Moon

·         I remember as a family we huddled round the radio listening to the vital moments of the Cuban missile crisis, when my parents thought nuclear war could be imminent.

These moments can be scary, fun, silly, magical.

They can come from raising the bar high, challenging ourselves to a feat way out of our comfort zone.

They can be feelings of pride – when your offspring represents GB on the World scene – or even just when they break the school record for the 60 metres dash; or the Graduation Ceremony.

They can arise from a quote or an idea that’s like a brilliant flash of light.

And many of them bring great connection with friends, grandchildren and others

Creating the future

Some in that queue in London or standing for hours watching the funeral will have connected with others and may become friends for life. Who knows where that will go – but they will remember exactly where they were when they met.

So why are defining moments important for you in your future – particularly for those giving up full-time work?

Because they are part of giving your life meaning and purpose.

They are exciting, new and different. They can move things out of the ordinary, everyday run – a route to wow experiences.

How do you create those special moments in the future?

·         What do you want to do?

·         Where do you want to go?

·         Who do you want to go with

The key is to do all sorts of things you are interested in but maybe have never done before – challenge yourself, leap out of your comfort zone

And go to places you haven’t been before or with different people.

Make your life rich in colours.

It’s all about that beautiful phrase “a life less ordinary” (with apologies, of course, to that 1997 film directed by Danny Boyle, with which there is no connection!)

Photo: Denise Johnson on Unsplash